And They Did Burn
by love.u.always.mom
Summary: Bucky decides it's time to tell Steve a couple secrets he's been keeping to himself, worrying that Steve will hate him when he does. Fortunately, things go better than he expected them to. Stucky (Steve/Bucky) slash, rated 'M' for a reason! Don't like it, don't read. Pre!serum Steve, period-typical homophobia. Not for anyone under 18 years old.


**Sorry for the random hiatus guys! For anyone following my other WIPs, I still don't know when I'll be getting back to those and for that I'm terribly sorry. I just follow my muse around with a bowl, catching whatever it decides to drop on me and right now that's nothing but Marvel.**

 **As with most of my stuff, this fic is rated 'M' for a reason (graphic sex). This contains slash, so if that's not your cup of tea go ahead and back out now, I'd rather you do that than read on anyway and flame me later.**

 **If you recognize it, then it's not mine.**

 **Please leave me a review at the end, I live for them!**

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Bucky wiped his sweating hands off on his pants for what had to be the twentieth time in the last ten minutes. Steve had been working later than him lately on Fridays, which had given Bucky the time to come back to their apartment, clean the place up a bit, and then sit down and wait.

Sit down, right. No, instead he was pacing so much he would be surprised if he didn't wear a hole in the damn floor. And of course he had spent two hours cleaning the place up just because it was fair. It wasn't his way of expending nervous energy, not at all. And it certainly wasn't a bribe, a way to try to keep Steve from kicking him out on his ass if things went south.

Who was he kidding? It was all three.

Another ten minutes passed and his hands were shaking, even clenched behind his back as they were. When Steve's key clicked in the lock he damn near jumped out of his skin before attempting to calm himself and act casual. Of course, it was all fruitless. Steve knew him better than his own mother for christ's sake.

"You okay Buck? You look like the devil's on your tail," Steve said by way of greeting as he closed the door behind him.

Bucky swallowed hard and gestured to the couch. His hand visibly shook, and he could tell by the look on Steve's face that he could see it from where he was ten feet away, even with his shitty eyesight. "Come sit down for a second Stevie," he said, voice nearly cracking on the affectionate nickname. "I need to talk to you about something."

Steve paled slightly, but nodded and seated himself on their ratty couch without a word. In some corner of his mind Bucky wondered what had Steve worried, but it was consumed by his own nervousness, hell flat out terror. If he lost Steve to this, he didn't know what he would do. Everything in him was screaming to take it back, to never say a word, but he couldn't do it. He hated lying to Steve, even by omission. He knew Steve had a secret or two of his own and that didn't bother him, but Bucky just couldn't bring himself to keep secrets from Steve. Especially something like this, Steve deserved to know.

"What's going on Buck?" Steve asked him, angling their bodies toward each other and resting a hand gently on Bucky's knee. Bucky could swear he felt the touch clear down to his bones, and usually it would give him some rather undignified problems, but right now he was too scared for his body to betray him like that. At least that was one thing he had going for him.

"There's something I need to tell you Steve," he began quietly, swallowing hard again and clenching his fists. "If you don't want me around after I tell you I'll understand, really I will. I just need to tell you cause I hate keeping things from you, even if you will hate me..."

"Bucky I'm not gonna hate you, you mook." Steve shoved at his shoulder lightly but Bucky didn't chuckle the way Steve expected him to, simply swayed slightly and kept his eyes on his hands. "Seriously Buck, you can't scare me away now, not after everything we've been through."

"Don't be so sure about that pal," Bucky muttered, more to himself than to Steve.

"Well then what is it?"

"Um..." Bucky began, twisting his hands in his lap and biting down hard on his lip. Steve reached out and took his chin in nimble fingers, making his heart stutter as the blond pulled his lower lip from between his teeth. A slender thumb swiped at his lip and drew away moisture. When Bucky looked at it, he saw the dark red smear of blood. Steve wiped the finger off on the couch and took Bucky's chin in his hand again, forcing him to meet his eyes.

"Just tell me," Steve ordered him quietly, "I'm not gonna disown you James." That got Bucky's attention more than anything else. Steve had only used his given name half a dozen times since they'd met ten years before.

Somehow Bucky found the courage to meet Steve's pretty blue eyes as he spoke, even though his voice was still nearer a whisper than his usual speaking voice. "Steve, I'm queer."

Steve's expression didn't change in the slightest as he responded. "You thought I didn't know that already?"

Bucky felt his eyes widen as his mouth popped open in shock. "Wait, you- how the hell'd you know?" He squawked.

Steve gave him his patented 'are you serious?' look. "Buck you spend more time getting ready for a date than most of the dames you go out with."

"How d'you kn-" he began indignantly

"I asked."

Bucky stopped short and glared at him. "You asked my dates how long they spend getting ready?"

Steve just shrugged. "I was curious, and I wanted a comparison."

"And it doesn't bother you," Bucky stated flatly, not completely willing to let it go that easily.

"If it did I wouldn't have stuck around," Steve stated matter of factly. "You're my best friend Buck, why would I disown you, 'specially after everything you do for me every winter."

"Cause I'm a pervert."

"And I'm sure you choose to be," Steve returned sarcastically. Bucky stared at him in wordless shock, amazed that someone finally seemed to get it. "C'mon, seriously? Why would anyone in their right mind choose to do something that'd get them that kind of hate? Nah, doesn't make sense to me."

Bucky felt a weight roll off his shoulders, but unfortunately he wasn't done yet. He wanted to be, while things were still good and he knew it wasn't going to make things weird, but he'd made himself a promise and he was going to follow through on it. His hands twisted in his lap again, something that Steve didn't miss.

"Something else too?" He wondered aloud.

"Yeah, you could say that," Bucky muttered. "Kinda on the same subject, same rules apply. If you don't want anything t-" He was cut off by a small, slender hand clapping over his mouth.

"Don't be a dumbass Buck. Just tell me, I ain't gonna disown you." Steve gave him a long, serious look before speaking again, Bucky could see a hint of honest-to-god hurt in those blue eyes he was so crazy about, and it made something in his chest twist painfully. "What kinda friend do you take me for?"

Bucky pulled Steve's hand off his mouth and reached out for him, fully intending to pull the other man tightly against his chest and apologize repeatedly, but Steve leaned back from his searching hands. That hurt look was still in his eyes, more profound now.

"Stevie come here, I'm sorry," Bucky began, but Steve talked over him.

"No, what kind of friend do you take me for Bucky?" He demanded, blue eyes shining a little too bright. "That's a real question too, and I want an answer. What kind of friend do you take me for?"

"I didn't mean it like that," Bucky promised, feeling his eyes fill with tears that he brushed away impatiently. He was never one to cry, it usually embarrassed the hell out of him, but just then it didn't seem important. "You're the best friend a fella could ever ask for, honest."

"Then why do you keep thinking I'm gonna disown you?" Steve demanded, voice hard as he stood up from his seat. "What kind of man do you take me for that you think I'd do something like that to you?"

"Steve no, that's not it I swear," Bucky pleaded. "Please, sit down and let me explain, I promise I don't think-"

"That's the problem Buck, you _don't_ think," Steve spat, red spots high on his cheekbones from rising anger. "You've been there for me through everything from losing jobs to losing my mother to almost losing my _life_ this last winter and you think I wouldn't do the same for you!"

Steve spun on his heel and stalked toward the door, fingers almost to the handle when Bucky's hand curled vice-like around his wrist. "Steve please don't go," he begged, flat out fucking _begged_ , God he was turning into his sisters.

Steve stopped his forward progress, but didn't turn to face him. "Tell me why you think I'd disown you. I want to know. What's so bad you honestly think I'd turn you out? Why?"

"Because just best friends is enough for you," Bucky whispered. He felt Steve go rigid even with just one wrist in his hand. Probably could have seen it too, if tears weren't blinding him.

"What are you saying Bucky?" Steve asked quietly, voice so tightly controlled that he couldn't even begin to get a read on how he might be taking it.

"You know exactly what I'm saying Steve," Bucky told him softly, squeezing the wrist still in his grasp.

"I want to hear you say it."

Bucky swallowed the lump in his throat and tugged Steve's wrist to turn him back so they were facing each other. Steve looked up at him with guarded blue eyes, and Bucky gently placed both hands on Steve's shoulders, meeting his eyes steadily as he spoke.

"Steve I'm in love with you," he whispered. He knew he should close his trap and leave it at that, but now he'd said that much it felt like a dam was bursting. "God Stevie I'm fucking crazy about you, have been for who knows how damn long now. Some days it hits me so hard I can't even think straight, all I can think about is how much I want to kiss you, all the things I want to do to you and how bad I want to hear you scream my name."

Bucky finally found it in himself to shut his trap, far too late and his neck and face burned a deep crimson as he lowered his eyes to the floor in shame.

"Like what?" Steve asked carefully. Bucky looked up and gave him a puzzled look. "What would you do to me?"

"Fuck Steve," Bucky swore. "You honestly want me to answer that?"

"Wouldn't be asking if I didn't." Bucky gave him a searching look before giving up, Steve was guarding himself well and Bucky couldn't get a read on his thoughts for anything.

"Well I already did the first part," Bucky admitted. "Stand here and tell you just how crazy in love with you I am, always been maybe." Bucky swallowed hard again and tried to order his thoughts, if Steve wanted to hear what he wanted to do then he saw no reason not to tell him. The only problem was getting his tongue around the words, and that wasn't going well for him so far.

"Cat got your tongue?" Steve asked softly, and Bucky thought he might recognize the look in Steve's eyes as they gazed up at him.

Bucky swallowed hard. "Maybe a little bit," he admitted. "Can't think straight when you're so close to me."

"Can you think of one thing you wanna do?"

"I want to suck your cock." The words escaped his mouth without his permission, maybe because it'd been something he wanted more than almost anything else for longer than he cared to admit. "God Steve I want to taste you so bad it hurts sometimes. I hear you jerking off in the bathroom and I swear sometimes it physically hurts to keep myself from going in there and getting on my knees for you. At night when you're sleeping I look over at you while I'm jerking it and all I have to do is imagine you coming straight down my throat and I come fucking _undone_ ," Bucky growled.

He was hard and throbbing in his pants by now, which were tented out in front of his body but he really didn't give a damn. There was something about getting it all off his chest that was more freeing than he ever could have imagined, even if Steve punched him in the face for it when he was done. He'd bottled everything up for years and now it finally had a chance to escape.

"I'd get down on my knees for you and suck you down till I gagged with that pretty red cock in the back of my throat. I'd make you get both hands in my hair, hold on and let you fuck my mouth while I moaned like a goddamn _whore_."

Bucky definitely recognized the look in Steve's eyes now. Blue had been taken over by black, giving the irises the appearance of having turned a darker shade of blue with arousal and he knew if he looked down he'd see a tent in the front of Steve's pants to match his own. His own dick gave a particularly insistent throb at the thought, and he just barely caught Steve beginning to talk.

"Did you want to do that before or after I tell you how long I've wanted to feel you inside me?" Steve asked, voice low to match his own.

"I've waited over two years to get your cock in my mouth, I don't want to wait a fucking second longer." Bucky felt Steve's foot nudge the back of his knee, pushing slightly. He took the hint and let them buckle forward, cracking hard and painful against the wood floor but he didn't give a damn. He sat back on his heels and the tent in the front of Steve's pants was pointing directly at his nose, just begging to be let free. In the space of a few seconds his fingers were unzipping his pants and pulling them to his ankles where his boxers soon followed.

And finally, after close to three years of wanting it Steve's cock was four inches from his face, completely hard with the head flushed red with blood. Bucky braced his hands on the front of Steve's thighs, leaned forward and mouthed longingly at the base of his cock, dragging his lips up the shaft slowly as he inhaled through his nose. The breath let out on a soft moan, hands shaking ever so slightly as his tongue flitted out to catch the ridge where the head met the shaft. Above him Steve was panting harshly, and the noise was music to his ears.

He moved one hand to wrap around the base of Steve's cock, holding it steady so he could drag his tongue slowly over and around the head, eyes falling closed as he did. He pressed his slightly parted lips against the head, kissing it before pushing just a half an inch past his lips, wrapping them loosely around it. His tongue laved along the smooth skin, teasing himself as much as Steve before finally allowing himself to take his cock fully into his mouth with a loud moan. Bucky heard Steve's head thunk against the wall behind him as he took him, gagging when the head brushed the back of his throat and backing off slightly.

Bucky took a few moments to relish the knowledge that finally, fucking _finally_ he was going to suck Steve off and moaned again, moving his hand back to Steve's thigh. Steve's hips jerked forward slightly and Bucky gagged when the head hit the back of his throat, making him moan yet again. Steve'd probably thought he was exaggerating when he said he would moan like a whore with his mouth full of his dick, but he hadn't been. He was going to take Steve apart piece by piece and watch him shatter when he came, relish every drop as it spurted down his throat.

He bobbed his head forward until he gagged again, backing off to the point of just barely not gagging and holding himself there while he swallowed repeatedly, working his throat muscles around the head to make Steve whimper with need. Finally Steve's hips twitched forward again, gagging him. Steve started to pull back as soon as he heard the noise but Bucky took Steve's hips in his hands and held them firmly in place, determined to tell his gag reflex to go fuck itself. After several long minutes of repeated swallowing, twitching hips and lots of moaning from both of them the response had finally toned down, and Bucky released his grip on Steve's hips to guide his hands to the back of his head. He pulled his mouth off Steve's cock for just long enough to remind Steve what he wanted, lips brushing the head as he spoke.

"Give it to me good, I won't break. Fuck my mouth hard Stevie, please," he begged. "Then I want you to shove it all the way in when you come baby, as far as it'll go."

Steve groaned loudly before gripping Bucky's head between his hands and shoving his cock back in his mouth until his lips met pubic bone. Bucky moaned long and loud around his mouthful as Steve pulled back and shoved his hips forward again, drawing strangled moans from both of them. Steve paused between the first few thrusts to make sure he wasn't being too rough before getting going, snapping his hips forward roughly while his head fell back against the wall. Bucky wrapped his hands around Steve's slender thighs and simply hung on, moaning each time his hips came forward as he allowed his mouth to be used for Steve's pleasure.

After a couple short minutes of rapid, rough thrusting Bucky felt the muscles in Steve's thighs tense up as the pitch of his moans grew higher. Bucky let his grunts become a long, drawn out note that only stopped for the time it took to take in a new breath, knowing that the vibration running up his throat muscles would tease Steve relentlessly. Sure enough Steve's moans grew to sharp cries as his fingers tightened, and Bucky felt a pressure growing in the center of his chest as this man he was so crazy about drew right up to the edge of his climax. His hips snapped forward rapidly, the steady rhythm breaking down as he hovered right on the precipice and his entire body seized up. With a final brutally rough thrust Steve yanked Bucky's head all the way forward in a motion he knew was entirely reflex, letting out a strangled shout as stream after stream of hot liquid poured down his throat. He swallowed repeatedly around the head, surprising even himself when the spastic jerk of Steve's aftershocks triggered his own orgasm. He let Steve's dick fall from his mouth as he cried out, trailing come and saliva down his chin as his hips arched forward as much as they could in his kneeling position. He hadn't come in his pants without being touched since he was fifteen, and he hadn't come as hard as he was now in a good six months or so but knowing that it was _his_ mouth drawing those beautiful noises from Steve's throat was more than he could fucking take.

When he finally pulled his head out of the clouds he noticed that Steve had let his knees go out from under him, slumping wearily to the floor as he regarded Bucky with a dazed look. After some uncoordinated fumbling Bucky managed to get himself to his feet and drag Steve along with him, scooping the smaller man right up into his arms before turning and staggering off to their bedroom. It was a mark of how dazed Steve was that he didn't object to being carried, simply dropped his head onto Bucky's shoulder and let himself be dropped onto the bed. Bucky yanked Steve's shirt off quickly, having left his pants and underwear in the living room by the door. When he had stripped himself down Bucky flopped down beside Steve, pulling him until he rested across Bucky's chest and held him tightly. Steve hummed sleepily and arched his back, stretching upward until he was able to fix his mouth to Bucky's. He sighed happily into the kiss, letting his tongue trace Steve's lips and taste them before reluctantly pulling away.

Steve grunted unhappily and stretched up again, evidently not ready to stop kissing him yet. Bucky laughed quietly before flipping them over, laying Steve on his back and hovering over him just how he had imagined doing for years. He braced himself up on his forearms and stroked the pad of one thumb gently across Steve's cheekbone and down his face, sliding it across soft pink lips before leaning down and kissing him slowly. Steve's arms went up and around him, one around his waist and the other at the back of his neck as he kissed back, sighing happily into Bucky's mouth before letting his tongue trace the larger man's lips. It would be quite a while before either he or Steve were ready to go again and that was fine with him, he could lay here and kiss Steve for the rest of his life and be perfectly happy.

Eventually though, Bucky pulled back to ask the question pressing him. "If you'd worked out I was queer why didn't you say something?"

Steve averted his eyes slightly and shrugged. "Just cause you're queer didn't mean you wanted me," he answered. Bucky studied him carefully, the way his eyes were focused on a point over his shoulder.

"And?"

Steve feigned casualty. "And what?"

Bucky levelled a glare at him. "And?" He prompted again. He knew there was something Steve wasn't saying. Steve looked ready to object, but finally deflated under Bucky's hard stare.

"And I didn't really… _Want_ to be," Steve admitted softly. "Kept hoping if I made myself think about dames I could make myself forget about liking guys. Ma'd be so ashamed of me," he muttered sadly. "But I can't make it stop."

Bucky felt a fist clench around his heart. "Do you want to?"

"Want to what?"

"Stop," Bucky answered, voice harder than he meant it to be. He worked for a softer tone before speaking again. "Stop this," he amended. "Pretend it didn't happen. I will, if you want." He almost stopped there, but figured it would be best to be honest. "I'll hate it, but if that's what you want I'll sure try."

"I don't think I could stop even if I did want to," Steve whispered, blue eyes wide and vulnerable in the way they only ever were for Bucky. "I've loved you as long as I can remember Buck. Now I know what it's like I don't ever want to let it go, damned or not."

Bucky smiled down at him somewhat sadly. "Well if we're gonna burn for this, at least we'll be together right?"

"That's the spirit," Steve muttered as he pulled Bucky down for another kiss.

And as they kissed and later made love, they did burn, tongues of flame licking outward from their hearts to mark their souls as belonging to the other in such a way that no amount of cold could take it from them.


End file.
